Please leave your comments for my storybook here! The storybook is titled Engineering India and can be found by clicking on this link: Engineering India.
Hi Marshall! I had done my blog comments before coming to the storybook comments and I was excited to see that I had your project! I'm fascinated by the different inventions and weapons/tools present in the Ramayana and Mahabharata, and I'm glad to see someone exploring them in detail. The first person perspective you chose for Vishvakarma works well, and I think this will be the way to explain your topic! I wasn't aware that he was the creator of Lanka, a city I love to read about, so I'm eager to hear more! Finally, the pictures are amazing and vibrant!
I have a few questions after reading the introduction. Is Vishvakarma still worshipped today? I also wonder what percentage of businesses and factories recognize Vishwakarma Puja, as it seems to be a holiday that big factories would ignore in favor of more work. This could even be addressed in a story taking place in a modern day factory! I also hope you'll explore the Pandavas palace in the Mahabharata, as that is something I would love to read about! Overall I'm very excited to see where your project goes and can't wait to read more!
I really like your idea of speaking about the different creations from a architecture/engineering point of view. I am not sure if that is what you are studying, but it seems like you are putting yourself in the shoes of VISHVAKARMA, which would make for a great storybook. I am interested to see how you will format your stories as well.
In the last paragraph where you mention Lanka, you ask if we have heard of it, but then do not tell us exactly what it is. I think if you added a better description of exactly what Lanka is, it would help.
Overall I am excited for your storybook. One thing about it though, I think rather than talking about your creations AND showing your interactions with characters from the stories, I think you should narrow it down to just doing one of those things. If you have a plan and know what you are going to do, do not listen to me. I just have the introduction to go off of so I do not know how your first story will be.
Hi Marshall! I think you have an incredibly unique approach to your storybook! It's so cool that you get to integrate your major, civil engineering, into this class. They seem so different but are going to work so well together! Also, I like how you're going to discuss the things which Vishvakarma built for the characters in the epics we have read. I think this is a really smart way to bring your project together. Also, I really liked your inclusion of details about how Vishvakarma is worshipped today -- from his previous status as a god for engineering and architecture to his modern evolution into the god of the same things, but modern, very software-based engineering -- and I think that it is a really good way to introduce your storybook, since I (and probably most people in this class) know little or nothing about Vishvakarma and how he is worshipped. This should allow you to write without concern for confusing readers about who Vishvakarma is!
Hi Marshall! I really like the idea that you have came up with for your storybook as when doing the readings for class, I was always confused on which weapon was what and what it actually did. So, I'm excited to read your stories as the semester goes on to find out more meaning behind the different weapons and creations that are used through the Indian epics. I found the story to be a really easy read and I was able to follow it when reading through. I give you great credit for being able to write this story and keep everything following together and not getting lost in everyone's names and where each character was suppose to be in the story. The story book website is in a easy format and I like that the link for the comment wall is a bright yellow box. There is some story books that the person doesn't have the comment wall link well identified and easy to find.
Hi Marshall, I'm glad you chose Lanka as the topic of your first storybook! My storybook is dealing with the battle for Lanka from the Ramayana, and it is interesting to see the history behind its creation! I also really enjoy the first picture of Lanka! It may have to find a place in my storybook too :) Man though, boons are one of my least favorite parts of Indian Epics. They always seem to cause a ton of problems as demonstrated here and in the Ramayana and Mahabharata! It's interesting to see how Shiva continued to look for ways to take back Lanka! Here you make it sound like Ravana did not actually want to take Lanka, but was forced to. This is an interesting detail because later on Ravana takes such pride in the city that I had thought it was his goal all along. Now that I'm thinking about it, I'm not sure when Lanka became populated with rakshasas; that may be an interesting thing to include! Overall I really enjoy where this is going and look forward to more!
Hey Marshall, I already commented on your introduction, but I was curious to see how your first story was told so I went and read it. At first, I forgot that it was told from the point of view of Vishvakarma, so I was confused when you were using "I" at first, but then I remembered. Because of that, I would suggest putting a small one or two sentence intro at the beginning the clear it up.
I love the first paragraph. It sets up the story and what you are going to talk about. I almost wanted the whole thing to be sort of like a research paper on Lanka, rather than a story. I hope you have one of these for the rest of the stories.
The story was well told and well researched. I could not even tell that you were putting multiple stories into one. I thought it was just one source story. There was one thing I noticed when I read. In the first paragraph of the story part, I was confused on how Lanka was made. Was the city created as part of the favor, or was it already created and then gifted as the favor? That was the only thing I had an issue with. If you would clear that up, it would be a perfect story.
Hi Marshall! I really loved the layout of your page! The engineering theme is very unique and cool. I didn't know much about Vishvakarma and I am looking forward to learning more. Your home page is very easy to navigate and find everything. I like how you explained Vishvakarma's background and how he is still prevalent today. It was cool to read about how he is still impacting the lives of workers in India. At the end of your introduction page I was very intrigued to learn more about Lanka. So, I was very happy to discover that your first story was over Lanka. I really enjoyed the story. It was well laid out and easy to follow. Also all the detail of the story really made it easy to paint a picture of Lanka and who was in charge of it. Your authors note was also extremely helpful.
Hey Marshall! I really love what you have chosen to do with your storybook. It's really great that you are using your major and making stories to go with something that you are interested in. Your Introduction was really clear and a great way to introduce readers. I also like your homepage and like how there is a button to press to get to the comment wall. Overall the website is looking really good!
I like how your story combined multiple stories and explained the history of Lanka. I think it set up a lot of really cool things. Your author's note did a great job too! I would suggest trying to make the stories flow together a little better though. Sometimes there's a little jumpy and hard for the reader to follow, so I would just overall work on making it flow easier. My other suggestion is make the comment wall link more accessible from other parts of the webpage. But a really great job overall!
Hey Marshall! I'm enjoying your storybook so far. I like that the introduction was a sort of combination of both an anthology and just getting into the story. I think your introduction sets everything up nicely for your following stories. I think it will be interesting to see different things we witnessed in the readings from his point of view. Is there going to be any dialouge in your stories, since you'll be bringing in several characters? It doesn't have to have it, I'm merely curious.
I also enjoyed your first story. It's very cool that you told us the history of Lanka and how Ravana came to own it. I think that's a really interesting take. My one suggestion would be don't be afraid to take your time to expand on things in the story. Let the story flow and feel free to expand on a few things if you feel it needs it. It was well-written thought, great job!
This is a really cool concept! I had no idea about Vishwakarman (even though I took Indian Epics last semester, I’m in Myth and Folklore now). I like the tone you’ve given our narrator; I think it fits well with the domain over which he is deity.
The idea of an entire city as a single invention is interesting, and is maybe something for you to explore more in further stories — maybe you could even augment the stories you retell by making their scenery a little more complex and mechanical to suit the perspective you’re bringing to them.
It might be nice if you linked directly from your Introduction to your first story. You could even put the link inline in the narration, such as on the text “history of Lanka” in the last sentence of your introduction.
This is a great idea for a storybook - it is always interesting to read stories from different points of view, and I am excited that you have chosen such an interesting narrator to guide the stories. I am familiar with many of the Indian Gods because I took Epics of India last semester, but I had never previously heard of Vishvakarma. Many of the other characters in your first story were familiar, though, and it was very cool to read about them again. It might be interesting to include more detail about the engineering aspect of the construction of Lanka and why it was so significant as a place. Since the story is narrated by Vishvakarma, including more of his knowledge and perspectives based on his engineering background would be an excellent addition. Nice work!
I love the concept for your storybook. The introduction flowed very well and I liked the addition of not only giving an overview of what is to come but the commentary from Vishvakarma's point of view. Your first story about Lanka had so much information I had to read it a couple times. I think you did a great job using multiple resources about Lanka to tell one story. Most of these epics I have to read a couple times to make sure I get all the names right with who is related to who or who is fighting who! I can tell you put a lot of work into making the story flow. Overall it was a very creative story and a great read.
Hi Marshall, once again I loved your addition to the storybook! The Pushpaka is a really cool creation from Vishvakarma and I agree that picturing it as a mobile city makes it even cooler! The comment about the gods stopping Ravana before he came too powerful is an excellent setup for the next portion of your storybook that I'm excited to read! One of the main questions I had was why Brahma did not actually need the Pushpaka? It seems that Brahma would have known that he didn't actually need it; I guess that is not really explained in the epics themselves though. You have also piqued my interest in the Agneyastra and Varunastra, and I wonder about the story of their history! How did Ravana and Kubera end up with them? I wonder if it would be possible for Vishvakarma to make his inventions unable to be used by Ravana or other evil creatures? Either way, I loved the story and can't wait for the next!
Hi Marshall. This is my first time visiting your storybook and I love how well its placed together. I like the image you used on your introduction. Your story told in the perception as Vishvakarma, it really has a lot more inside detail this way. I like your introduction becasue it gives me so much more background then just jumping right into the story, I think you could add a little more fun details about him but overall its very informative. I like your first story you have, its very interesting and has a good idea.The ending is also suspenseful which I enjoy. I like your whole concept here of the inventions of Vishvakarma, it really shows how much thought was put into your recearch for this story line. I cant wait to ready the next story for your series Thanks!
Hello, I want to start off by saying that I love the way your website looks. It is like there is so much going on that it fits with the title. Your introduction was well written and gave me a lot of information about Vishvakarma. I was not too familiar with him before I read the introduction. I feel like since you gave the reader this run down of the character they are able to read the following feats about him without getting lost. I also like how you wrote the introduction using the first person point of view for Vishvakarma. As for the story it is wonderful. The Origins of Lanka kept a good pace all the way through with minimal snags. I think you may want to look into the second sentence. For some reason it feels a bit…idk wrong. Maybe use creations and delete inventions since you use creations later on in the sentence. I was also intrigued at the end when you said Ravana took Lanka. Usually stories end with the good guy winning and the story panning out. I like the twist on it ending on Ravana getting it.
Marshall, your website is so impressive! Your banner image with the gears along with the comment wall link that looks like an actual button really complements the content of your Storybook! Your introduction page is perfect: it is both informative and visually striking, and gives it's viewers an indication of what and who to expect in the stories to come. I appreciate that it includes a little historical context as well, and from Vishvakarma himself makes this whole experience even more enjoyable. It makes me feel like he's being interviewed and is telling stories about himself and emphasizing his skills, inventions, and their impact in the Indian epics and beyond. As for your stories, you really have a knack for storytelling! Everything about your writing and your website implies a lot of thought and effort went into each! I think "My Chariot" is my favorite of the two you have posted so far, but this could be just because the concept of such a chariot is so charming and wondrous to me. I look forward to seeing how your final story comes out!
Hi Marshall. Right off the bat, your home page has such a distinctive look that perfectly fits your project. And I must say, digging into Vishvakarma's point of view and takes on things that have happened in the Ramayana, the Mahabharata, and other stories from mythology is a great idea! I like how in The Story of Lanka you have combined elements from a number of different stories. The result is very complex and almost gives it a Tolkien-esque sense of expansive history. Your Author's Note does a good job of explaining how you put this together. In My Chariot, likening Pushpaka to the sun really paints a bold picture of the flying castle. Also comparing its navigation system to modern day GPS systems was quite clever. Again, you did a good job with your Author's Note explaining how and why you put this story together.
Quick side note, every time I see the term vimanas I can't help but think of the book series The Secrets of the Immortal Nicholas Flamel by Michael Scott. Vimanas are introduced in the later books in the series and that was the first place I encountered the crafts. The series is excellent by the way.
Hi Marshall! I really enjoy the topic that your chose for your storybook. I don’t know much about Vishvakarma, so I’m interested in learning more! The look of your website is nice and fitting for your topic. The images chosen clearly lets the reader know what the project is about. Your website is also easy to navigate. I had no issues locating any of your stories. Your introduction is great. I think it explains the topic well and what we’re to expect. Vishvakarma is an excellent choice for narrator! The way you wrote it was engaging and flowed well. I like that you described the typical way that Vishvakarma puja is celebrated. I guess it happens the day after Diwali. I’m interested to see how this change in narration will lead to a different perspective throughout the Ramayana and Mahabharata. You have a great project and I’m looking forward to reading more from you!
Hi Marshall! I have gotten your storybook and blog to read a couple of times this semester and I like to see the progression of the stories and the blog. I really have to say your are really good at being able to keep the story line in a manner that it is easy for the reader to follow.
As far as week 12 where we are instructed to focus on the authors note and I really like the information that is given in your authors notes. You do a good job at explaining to the reader about who the story is about and the reason for the story. However, I think if it wasn't for the authors note some people would be confused as to who the story was about. I really like that you are going the extra step and looking at other sources to get more a picture as to who Vishvakarama is and where is role comes into play in the Indian stories. Overall, I think the authors note hits the points as to why you wrote the story, who the story is about, and giving a little background as to why the story as importance.
I want to start off by saying that your banner picture is very fitting with the title of your project. It's the little touches that bring the whole project together! Your website is easy to navigate and you have included really vibrant images to help draw the attention of readers.
I appreciate that you focused your writings based off of Lanka's portrayal of Ramayana. From reading your three stories, I can tell you put in a lot of research efforts into your project. I wouldn't have known the depth's of Lanka's perception without visiting your website detailing the events of Ramayana.
Overall, I think you did a great job so far on your storybook project. One suggestion you might consider is adding the title of your third story in the homepage of your project. Other than that, I look forward to seeing the finalized stories written by you.
Hi Marshall! I really like the way you have set up your website. The look of it is very put together. It’s easy to navigate and has a lot to look at. This week we are talking about paragraphing. For your introduction, I think you did a good breaking this up into appropriate paragraphs. I like how the first part at the top of the page is giving us an introduction of what to expect from your site. Then you use the yellow line to break up the page. You then give us an introduction/background to the character that tells the stories from his perspective. I think the intro page is wonderful. For The Origins of Lanka, I also think you did a good job breaking it up into paragraphs that have the same topic in each. (If that makes any sense?) It was easy to read and flowed well together. Overall, I think you have done an excellent job.
Hi Marshall! Your website is very clean and easy to use. I appreciate that a lot. I really liked your introduction page and how it is broken into multiple parts. The parts make sense in that the first addresses the plan for the story book, and then the second sets the tone. I love the added information about the holidays to give us an even better understanding of how important he is. In the Origins of Lanka I loved the descriptions in the first paragraph. The paragraph groupings on the first I think were well written. It made it easy to read. Each break made sense. I also really liked the major heading for the authors note to separate it out.
Hi Marshall! I have already commented on your comment wall, but you popped up on my blog comments page and I was so excited to come back to comment on your new stories. Your page is so well laid out, easy to navigate, and very on theme. I also really like the image on your comment wall page. I really love your topic and think that it is so interesting. The engineering theme is unique which really makes your story book stick out. Your third story was so easy and very fun to read. I really like reading about all the new inventions. The power-struggle surrounding the pushpaka was so interesting to read about. I like how you are incorporating the drama between characters with the creations of new inventions. I have really loved your stories so far and I look forward to coming back and reading others! Good luck with the rest of the semester!
Hi Marshall! I absolutely love the formatting of your storybook. It looks very clean and is easy to follow. In your Introduction page, I love that yellow line that separates the background and when Vishvakarama starts speaking from his perspective. The two paragraphs from Vishvakarma’s point of view are a little long and could be split into more paragraphs for readability, but I like that the two separate ideas are in different paragraphs. I like the formatting of the paragraphs in your first two stories because they vary in length and categorize the information nicely. I also like the paragraphing in the author’s note of “My Chariot”. For “The Fate of Lanka” I like the look of the three pictures together, but it creates a pretty large break in the story since I read the description for each of the images before continuing the story. It might be more effective to put the image of the Vajra after the paragraph where you talk about the Vajra, and the image of Rama and Sita at the end after the war in the story. I love that the Author’s note and bibliography have large bold font to make it easy to find and distinguish from the story.
Hi Marshall, your storybook has been one of my favorites as it so closely aligns with my own. The battle between Ravana and Rama involves so many intricate pieces and ideas that it can be hard to focus on smaller elements such as the equipment used. Before your project, I had never considered the backgrounds of the weapons involved or how the creators might feel about their use. Hearing from Vishvakarma himself puts the story in a unique perspective that helps show how the battle was pushed to be in Rama's favor. I've always wondered why Vishvakarma wouldn't put a "fail-safe" mechanism that would prevent his weapons from being used by evil people; another idea would be to be able to recall the weapons at will. I guess it's a bit too late for another story discussing that! Either way, I loved your storybook and learned so much from it!
Hi Marshall! This is my first time visiting your storybook page and I am very impressed by your layout! I really like the image you chose for your home page. I think it fit your theme perfectly. I also really like how your title stands out for each page. Your page was also very easy to navigate through. Each one of your pages is put together very well and they all look professional and neat. When reading your introduction I thought it gave a very clear idea as to what your storybook was going to be about. As far as your stories go, I really enjoyed getting to read each one. I think your idea of focusing on the inventions of Lanka is very creative. I would never have thought to create stories with a theme like that so that made them very cool to read! Overall, really great job with your story book project!
Hi Marshall! I had done my blog comments before coming to the storybook comments and I was excited to see that I had your project! I'm fascinated by the different inventions and weapons/tools present in the Ramayana and Mahabharata, and I'm glad to see someone exploring them in detail. The first person perspective you chose for Vishvakarma works well, and I think this will be the way to explain your topic! I wasn't aware that he was the creator of Lanka, a city I love to read about, so I'm eager to hear more! Finally, the pictures are amazing and vibrant!
ReplyDeleteI have a few questions after reading the introduction. Is Vishvakarma still worshipped today? I also wonder what percentage of businesses and factories recognize Vishwakarma Puja, as it seems to be a holiday that big factories would ignore in favor of more work. This could even be addressed in a story taking place in a modern day factory! I also hope you'll explore the Pandavas palace in the Mahabharata, as that is something I would love to read about! Overall I'm very excited to see where your project goes and can't wait to read more!
Hey Marshall,
ReplyDeleteI really like your idea of speaking about the different creations from a architecture/engineering point of view. I am not sure if that is what you are studying, but it seems like you are putting yourself in the shoes of VISHVAKARMA, which would make for a great storybook. I am interested to see how you will format your stories as well.
In the last paragraph where you mention Lanka, you ask if we have heard of it, but then do not tell us exactly what it is. I think if you added a better description of exactly what Lanka is, it would help.
Overall I am excited for your storybook. One thing about it though, I think rather than talking about your creations AND showing your interactions with characters from the stories, I think you should narrow it down to just doing one of those things. If you have a plan and know what you are going to do, do not listen to me. I just have the introduction to go off of so I do not know how your first story will be.
Hi Marshall! I think you have an incredibly unique approach to your storybook! It's so cool that you get to integrate your major, civil engineering, into this class. They seem so different but are going to work so well together! Also, I like how you're going to discuss the things which Vishvakarma built for the characters in the epics we have read. I think this is a really smart way to bring your project together. Also, I really liked your inclusion of details about how Vishvakarma is worshipped today -- from his previous status as a god for engineering and architecture to his modern evolution into the god of the same things, but modern, very software-based engineering -- and I think that it is a really good way to introduce your storybook, since I (and probably most people in this class) know little or nothing about Vishvakarma and how he is worshipped. This should allow you to write without concern for confusing readers about who Vishvakarma is!
ReplyDeleteHi Marshall!
ReplyDeleteI really like the idea that you have came up with for your storybook as when doing the readings for class, I was always confused on which weapon was what and what it actually did. So, I'm excited to read your stories as the semester goes on to find out more meaning behind the different weapons and creations that are used through the Indian epics. I found the story to be a really easy read and I was able to follow it when reading through. I give you great credit for being able to write this story and keep everything following together and not getting lost in everyone's names and where each character was suppose to be in the story.
The story book website is in a easy format and I like that the link for the comment wall is a bright yellow box. There is some story books that the person doesn't have the comment wall link well identified and easy to find.
Hi Marshall, I'm glad you chose Lanka as the topic of your first storybook! My storybook is dealing with the battle for Lanka from the Ramayana, and it is interesting to see the history behind its creation! I also really enjoy the first picture of Lanka! It may have to find a place in my storybook too :) Man though, boons are one of my least favorite parts of Indian Epics. They always seem to cause a ton of problems as demonstrated here and in the Ramayana and Mahabharata! It's interesting to see how Shiva continued to look for ways to take back Lanka!
ReplyDeleteHere you make it sound like Ravana did not actually want to take Lanka, but was forced to. This is an interesting detail because later on Ravana takes such pride in the city that I had thought it was his goal all along. Now that I'm thinking about it, I'm not sure when Lanka became populated with rakshasas; that may be an interesting thing to include! Overall I really enjoy where this is going and look forward to more!
Hey Marshall, I already commented on your introduction, but I was curious to see how your first story was told so I went and read it. At first, I forgot that it was told from the point of view of Vishvakarma, so I was confused when you were using "I" at first, but then I remembered. Because of that, I would suggest putting a small one or two sentence intro at the beginning the clear it up.
ReplyDeleteI love the first paragraph. It sets up the story and what you are going to talk about. I almost wanted the whole thing to be sort of like a research paper on Lanka, rather than a story. I hope you have one of these for the rest of the stories.
The story was well told and well researched. I could not even tell that you were putting multiple stories into one. I thought it was just one source story. There was one thing I noticed when I read. In the first paragraph of the story part, I was confused on how Lanka was made. Was the city created as part of the favor, or was it already created and then gifted as the favor? That was the only thing I had an issue with. If you would clear that up, it would be a perfect story.
Hi Marshall! I really loved the layout of your page! The engineering theme is very unique and cool. I didn't know much about Vishvakarma and I am looking forward to learning more. Your home page is very easy to navigate and find everything. I like how you explained Vishvakarma's background and how he is still prevalent today. It was cool to read about how he is still impacting the lives of workers in India. At the end of your introduction page I was very intrigued to learn more about Lanka. So, I was very happy to discover that your first story was over Lanka. I really enjoyed the story. It was well laid out and easy to follow. Also all the detail of the story really made it easy to paint a picture of Lanka and who was in charge of it. Your authors note was also extremely helpful.
ReplyDeleteHey Marshall! I really love what you have chosen to do with your storybook. It's really great that you are using your major and making stories to go with something that you are interested in. Your Introduction was really clear and a great way to introduce readers. I also like your homepage and like how there is a button to press to get to the comment wall. Overall the website is looking really good!
ReplyDeleteI like how your story combined multiple stories and explained the history of Lanka. I think it set up a lot of really cool things. Your author's note did a great job too! I would suggest trying to make the stories flow together a little better though. Sometimes there's a little jumpy and hard for the reader to follow, so I would just overall work on making it flow easier. My other suggestion is make the comment wall link more accessible from other parts of the webpage. But a really great job overall!
Hey Marshall! I'm enjoying your storybook so far. I like that the introduction was a sort of combination of both an anthology and just getting into the story. I think your introduction sets everything up nicely for your following stories. I think it will be interesting to see different things we witnessed in the readings from his point of view. Is there going to be any dialouge in your stories, since you'll be bringing in several characters? It doesn't have to have it, I'm merely curious.
ReplyDeleteI also enjoyed your first story. It's very cool that you told us the history of Lanka and how Ravana came to own it. I think that's a really interesting take. My one suggestion would be don't be afraid to take your time to expand on things in the story. Let the story flow and feel free to expand on a few things if you feel it needs it. It was well-written thought, great job!
Hi Marshall,
ReplyDeleteThis is a really cool concept! I had no idea about Vishwakarman (even though I took Indian Epics last semester, I’m in Myth and Folklore now). I like the tone you’ve given our narrator; I think it fits well with the domain over which he is deity.
The idea of an entire city as a single invention is interesting, and is maybe something for you to explore more in further stories — maybe you could even augment the stories you retell by making their scenery a little more complex and mechanical to suit the perspective you’re bringing to them.
It might be nice if you linked directly from your Introduction to your first story. You could even put the link inline in the narration, such as on the text “history of Lanka” in the last sentence of your introduction.
Looking forward to seeing where this goes next!
Best,
A.M.
Hey Marshall!
ReplyDeleteThis is a great idea for a storybook - it is always interesting to read stories from different points of view, and I am excited that you have chosen such an interesting narrator to guide the stories. I am familiar with many of the Indian Gods because I took Epics of India last semester, but I had never previously heard of Vishvakarma. Many of the other characters in your first story were familiar, though, and it was very cool to read about them again. It might be interesting to include more detail about the engineering aspect of the construction of Lanka and why it was so significant as a place. Since the story is narrated by Vishvakarma, including more of his knowledge and perspectives based on his engineering background would be an excellent addition. Nice work!
Hi Marshall,
ReplyDeleteI love the concept for your storybook. The introduction flowed very well and I liked the addition of not only giving an overview of what is to come but the commentary from Vishvakarma's point of view. Your first story about Lanka had so much information I had to read it a couple times. I think you did a great job using multiple resources about Lanka to tell one story. Most of these epics I have to read a couple times to make sure I get all the names right with who is related to who or who is fighting who! I can tell you put a lot of work into making the story flow. Overall it was a very creative story and a great read.
Hi Marshall, once again I loved your addition to the storybook! The Pushpaka is a really cool creation from Vishvakarma and I agree that picturing it as a mobile city makes it even cooler! The comment about the gods stopping Ravana before he came too powerful is an excellent setup for the next portion of your storybook that I'm excited to read! One of the main questions I had was why Brahma did not actually need the Pushpaka? It seems that Brahma would have known that he didn't actually need it; I guess that is not really explained in the epics themselves though. You have also piqued my interest in the Agneyastra and Varunastra, and I wonder about the story of their history! How did Ravana and Kubera end up with them? I wonder if it would be possible for Vishvakarma to make his inventions unable to be used by Ravana or other evil creatures? Either way, I loved the story and can't wait for the next!
ReplyDeleteHi Marshall.
ReplyDeleteThis is my first time visiting your storybook and I love how well its placed together. I like the image you used on your introduction. Your story told in the perception as Vishvakarma, it really has a lot more inside detail this way. I like your introduction becasue it gives me so much more background then just jumping right into the story, I think you could add a little more fun details about him but overall its very informative. I like your first story you have, its very interesting and has a good idea.The ending is also suspenseful which I enjoy. I like your whole concept here of the inventions of Vishvakarma, it really shows how much thought was put into your recearch for this story line. I cant wait to ready the next story for your series
Thanks!
Hello,
ReplyDeleteI want to start off by saying that I love the way your website looks. It is like there is so much going on that it fits with the title. Your introduction was well written and gave me a lot of information about Vishvakarma. I was not too familiar with him before I read the introduction. I feel like since you gave the reader this run down of the character they are able to read the following feats about him without getting lost. I also like how you wrote the introduction using the first person point of view for Vishvakarma. As for the story it is wonderful. The Origins of Lanka kept a good pace all the way through with minimal snags. I think you may want to look into the second sentence. For some reason it feels a bit…idk wrong. Maybe use creations and delete inventions since you use creations later on in the sentence. I was also intrigued at the end when you said Ravana took Lanka. Usually stories end with the good guy winning and the story panning out. I like the twist on it ending on Ravana getting it.
Marshall, your website is so impressive! Your banner image with the gears along with the comment wall link that looks like an actual button really complements the content of your Storybook! Your introduction page is perfect: it is both informative and visually striking, and gives it's viewers an indication of what and who to expect in the stories to come. I appreciate that it includes a little historical context as well, and from Vishvakarma himself makes this whole experience even more enjoyable. It makes me feel like he's being interviewed and is telling stories about himself and emphasizing his skills, inventions, and their impact in the Indian epics and beyond. As for your stories, you really have a knack for storytelling! Everything about your writing and your website implies a lot of thought and effort went into each! I think "My Chariot" is my favorite of the two you have posted so far, but this could be just because the concept of such a chariot is so charming and wondrous to me. I look forward to seeing how your final story comes out!
ReplyDeleteHi Marshall. Right off the bat, your home page has such a distinctive look that perfectly fits your project. And I must say, digging into Vishvakarma's point of view and takes on things that have happened in the Ramayana, the Mahabharata, and other stories from mythology is a great idea! I like how in The Story of Lanka you have combined elements from a number of different stories. The result is very complex and almost gives it a Tolkien-esque sense of expansive history. Your Author's Note does a good job of explaining how you put this together. In My Chariot, likening Pushpaka to the sun really paints a bold picture of the flying castle. Also comparing its navigation system to modern day GPS systems was quite clever. Again, you did a good job with your Author's Note explaining how and why you put this story together.
ReplyDeleteQuick side note, every time I see the term vimanas I can't help but think of the book series The Secrets of the Immortal Nicholas Flamel by Michael Scott. Vimanas are introduced in the later books in the series and that was the first place I encountered the crafts. The series is excellent by the way.
Hi Marshall! I really enjoy the topic that your chose for your storybook. I don’t know much about Vishvakarma, so I’m interested in learning more! The look of your website is nice and fitting for your topic. The images chosen clearly lets the reader know what the project is about. Your website is also easy to navigate. I had no issues locating any of your stories. Your introduction is great. I think it explains the topic well and what we’re to expect. Vishvakarma is an excellent choice for narrator! The way you wrote it was engaging and flowed well. I like that you described the typical way that Vishvakarma puja is celebrated. I guess it happens the day after Diwali. I’m interested to see how this change in narration will lead to a different perspective throughout the Ramayana and Mahabharata. You have a great project and I’m looking forward to reading more from you!
ReplyDeleteHi Marshall! I have gotten your storybook and blog to read a couple of times this semester and I like to see the progression of the stories and the blog. I really have to say your are really good at being able to keep the story line in a manner that it is easy for the reader to follow.
ReplyDeleteAs far as week 12 where we are instructed to focus on the authors note and I really like the information that is given in your authors notes. You do a good job at explaining to the reader about who the story is about and the reason for the story. However, I think if it wasn't for the authors note some people would be confused as to who the story was about. I really like that you are going the extra step and looking at other sources to get more a picture as to who Vishvakarama is and where is role comes into play in the Indian stories. Overall, I think the authors note hits the points as to why you wrote the story, who the story is about, and giving a little background as to why the story as importance.
Hey Marshall,
ReplyDeleteI want to start off by saying that your banner picture is very fitting with the title of your project. It's the little touches that bring the whole project together! Your website is easy to navigate and you have included really vibrant images to help draw the attention of readers.
I appreciate that you focused your writings based off of Lanka's portrayal of Ramayana. From reading your three stories, I can tell you put in a lot of research efforts into your project. I wouldn't have known the depth's of Lanka's perception without visiting your website detailing the events of Ramayana.
Overall, I think you did a great job so far on your storybook project. One suggestion you might consider is adding the title of your third story in the homepage of your project. Other than that, I look forward to seeing the finalized stories written by you.
Hi Marshall!
ReplyDeleteI really like the way you have set up your website. The look of it is very put together. It’s easy to navigate and has a lot to look at.
This week we are talking about paragraphing. For your introduction, I think you did a good breaking this up into appropriate paragraphs. I like how the first part at the top of the page is giving us an introduction of what to expect from your site. Then you use the yellow line to break up the page. You then give us an introduction/background to the character that tells the stories from his perspective. I think the intro page is wonderful.
For The Origins of Lanka, I also think you did a good job breaking it up into paragraphs that have the same topic in each. (If that makes any sense?) It was easy to read and flowed well together. Overall, I think you have done an excellent job.
Hi Marshall!
ReplyDeleteYour website is very clean and easy to use. I appreciate that a lot. I really liked your introduction page and how it is broken into multiple parts. The parts make sense in that the first addresses the plan for the story book, and then the second sets the tone. I love the added information about the holidays to give us an even better understanding of how important he is. In the Origins of Lanka I loved the descriptions in the first paragraph. The paragraph groupings on the first I think were well written. It made it easy to read. Each break made sense. I also really liked the major heading for the authors note to separate it out.
Hi Marshall! I have already commented on your comment wall, but you popped up on my blog comments page and I was so excited to come back to comment on your new stories. Your page is so well laid out, easy to navigate, and very on theme. I also really like the image on your comment wall page. I really love your topic and think that it is so interesting. The engineering theme is unique which really makes your story book stick out. Your third story was so easy and very fun to read. I really like reading about all the new inventions. The power-struggle surrounding the pushpaka was so interesting to read about. I like how you are incorporating the drama between characters with the creations of new inventions. I have really loved your stories so far and I look forward to coming back and reading others! Good luck with the rest of the semester!
ReplyDeleteHi Marshall!
ReplyDeleteI absolutely love the formatting of your storybook. It looks very clean and is easy to follow. In your Introduction page, I love that yellow line that separates the background and when Vishvakarama starts speaking from his perspective. The two paragraphs from Vishvakarma’s point of view are a little long and could be split into more paragraphs for readability, but I like that the two separate ideas are in different paragraphs.
I like the formatting of the paragraphs in your first two stories because they vary in length and categorize the information nicely. I also like the paragraphing in the author’s note of “My Chariot”.
For “The Fate of Lanka” I like the look of the three pictures together, but it creates a pretty large break in the story since I read the description for each of the images before continuing the story. It might be more effective to put the image of the Vajra after the paragraph where you talk about the Vajra, and the image of Rama and Sita at the end after the war in the story. I love that the Author’s note and bibliography have large bold font to make it easy to find and distinguish from the story.
Hi Marshall, your storybook has been one of my favorites as it so closely aligns with my own. The battle between Ravana and Rama involves so many intricate pieces and ideas that it can be hard to focus on smaller elements such as the equipment used. Before your project, I had never considered the backgrounds of the weapons involved or how the creators might feel about their use. Hearing from Vishvakarma himself puts the story in a unique perspective that helps show how the battle was pushed to be in Rama's favor. I've always wondered why Vishvakarma wouldn't put a "fail-safe" mechanism that would prevent his weapons from being used by evil people; another idea would be to be able to recall the weapons at will. I guess it's a bit too late for another story discussing that! Either way, I loved your storybook and learned so much from it!
ReplyDeleteHi Marshall!
ReplyDeleteThis is my first time visiting your storybook page and I am very impressed by your layout! I really like the image you chose for your home page. I think it fit your theme perfectly. I also really like how your title stands out for each page. Your page was also very easy to navigate through. Each one of your pages is put together very well and they all look professional and neat. When reading your introduction I thought it gave a very clear idea as to what your storybook was going to be about. As far as your stories go, I really enjoyed getting to read each one. I think your idea of focusing on the inventions of Lanka is very creative. I would never have thought to create stories with a theme like that so that made them very cool to read! Overall, really great job with your story book project!